Now obviously there are some parts of the manga that I can’t relate to.įor starters, I’m a 21-year-old university student at the time of writing and Nagata was a 28-year-old dropout.
Despite her mixed feelings though, our unlikely heroine finds the experience- no matter how lacklustre and awkward- to be a step towards liberation, self-discovery and the normal life she’s always wanted. The latter is what leads her to hire the escort we see in the beginning, only to find that towards the end of the manga, Nagata finds herself almost entirely unable to enjoy and perform during the encounter. However, even when she recovers and finds another job, she still finds herself in a depressive spiral due to the parental and societal expectations placed upon her, including not being a salaried employee and having no experience in the fields of romance and sex. The reader quickly learns that Nagata’s life as a young adult was one full of hardship- emotional, mental and personal.Īfter dropping out of university, Nagata develops an eating disorder, which also gets her fired from her part-time job the one thing keeping her from complete despair. However, as the escort makes a move on her, Nagata uses the time to reminisce on what brought her to this point. The manga presents its overall tone and themes from the outset, opening with a then-present day, anxiety-ridden Nagata face to face with a female escort whom she ordered in order to lose her virginity. The manga tells a tale “ten years in the making”, following Nagata’s life from the ages of 18 to 28. My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness is a 2016 manga (Japanese graphic novel) written and illustrated by the aforementioned Nagata Kabi, who also happens to be the subject of its story. And after reading it through God knows how many times and crying my eyes out upon each revisit, I can safely say that it is the best manga I’ve ever read- but you’d never catch me recommending it to anyone. It was a feeling I sustained for a while, until I read Nagata Kabi’s My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, after finishing my third year of university this summer.
What made me so different? Why was it so hard for me to connect to things the way other people did? For the longest time, this was a sensation that was completely alien to me and, honestly, it made me quite sad. If you spend as much time online and reading analytical articles as I do, it’s almost impossible not to come across someone talking about a game, movie, novel or TV show that has helped them through tough times because of just how relatable and emotional it is. Considering how much of my existence revolves around the media I consume, I can’t say I’ve ever found something that I can truly relate to.
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